“Real women have curves”… and some “real” women don’t.


created by Kellie McGarry, Nourished and New

Share a conversation with a group of women, and inevitably the topic will come up around weight. We compare our size to that of the latest image on a magazine.   But then someone will pipe up and say something to the effect of ,”Real women have curves.”

It seems we are living in a new age where women are starting to stand up for themselves and celebrate their curves, as they shun the “Twiggy” image.   We are realizing that we don’t need to be a size zero to be sexy. Guess what?  Curves ARE sexy.  But what about the women like myself, who really are healthy but who happen to be skinny,  with a pudgy waist and virtually NO curves?

Are we “Real Women” too?

Recently, I read an article about a campaign called “Say No to Size Zero”, headed up by a former model who was kicked out of the industry because of her weight (she is a size 12). Being a former anorexic, I can understand her motivation.  She is asserting that models should not have to be a size zero.  She suffered discrimination about her weight and lost her job because of it and that’s awful.  However,  there are many women out there who are just naturally skinny. (although I”m guessing not many of us are truly a size 0) .  True, they might be far and few between , but never the less, they don’t want to be discriminated against either.

I have a good friend who was my room mate  all throughout  college and she is one of those naturally skinny people.  She has had some doctors question her eating habits because they probably thought she is anorexic.  Nope- it’s just the way she’s built.  It doesn’t mean she is any less of a woman.

There is a campaign that I do support and it’s called Health At Every Size. (click on the link to register and pledge your support)    It does not matter  how naturally skinny or how voluptuous you are.   Beauty and health have nothing to do with size.  How about we all try to find health and happiness no matter what we look like?  Nobody is immune to the stress of life, and we can ALL work on “nourishing our body and soul”.

So what makes a real woman to me?


–Someone who is not afraid to show her emotions.  And someone who admits she is afraid to  express herself.

–Someone who yells at her kids.  And someone who later on hugs her kids as tight as she can.

–Someone who is not afraid to eat a piece of chocolate cake.  And someone who admits that she feels fat afterward.

–Someone who wears lots of make up and jewelry just because she likes it. And  someone who doesn’t feel the need for it.

–Someone who knows full well that she can change a tire, be the CEO of a company, or even the President of the United States.

–And someone who feels no shame in being a stay-at home mom and who says that cleaning and playing with her kids are her “job”.

Actually, this list could go on and on and on…..

You may ask, “what about the women who struggle with being authentic, or “real?” (I can put myself in that category!)  Well,  they are “real” women too!

In short, we are ALL “real” women… you know why? 

Because NONE of us are immune to the pressure to be someone we are not.  We ALL have struggles and emotions, and insecurities, mixed with beautiful moments of joy and peace.  And you know what?  THAT, to me is as “real” as it gets.

What do you think of when you hear the comment, “Real Women Have Curves?”    Share your comment here!

From one “real” woman to another,


Certified Holistic Health Coach




7 thoughts on ““Real women have curves”… and some “real” women don’t.

  1. I hate the term “real women”. I am a naturally small person and I do wear a US size 0. I am not flute shaped (I’m really more of a pear), but I’m not what anyone would call “curvy”. I am still a real woman. A real person with interests, dreams, and ideas. That’s also why I hate the “Say No to Size 0” campaign, because of the connotation that size 0 women are striving to be “nothing” because the number 0 is “nothing”. How about I wear a size 0 because the size 2 is too big? Thank you, vanity sizing! Anyway, ALL women are real women. Curvy or slim, mom to kids or dog mom, CEO or stay at home mom, married or unmarried, black or white, and everything in between! No woman is less of a woman because of her body type or life choices. Let’s stop with the body comparisons and policing, I say!

  2. Nice point. Don’t we all know naturally skinny people? And “real women”…implies so many of the wrong things if people aren’t careful. The only thing I worry about with the Health At Every Size movement is the tendency of people to forget the “health” bit and assume it means that everyone is a-okay at every size. Yes, women (and men!) with many different body types *can* be healthy, but we have to be realistic about what is healthy for our individual body. And there is such a thing as too skinny for you, and there is such a thing as too fat for you, and you have to be honest with yourself in both directions and ignore the noise coming at you from every angle. Am I making sense?

    1. Thanks for your comment! Yes, I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. As a Health Coach, I obviously support women to find what is healthy for them. Most people when they learn to love and accept themselves, that is when they are more open to supporting their bodies with healthy, whole foods. Of course, it can work the other way around too. Yes, there are definitely women who are either too skinny or too overweight because they are not nourishing their body and mind in a way that works for them. But for me, it’s not about attaining a certain size, as much as it is finding healing and wholeness, and the weight loss is a natural by product. if you want to learn more about what I do, feel free to click on my website! 🙂

  3. Very good blog! The hatred towards skinny women is as real as the hatred towards overweight/obese women. And it’s important to remember that being skinny may be a sign of problems-maybe the person does not absorb enough nutrients or has some other problem that keeps them from gaining weight. I know many of us go “oh you’re too skinny, what a problem to have!” but if you are not healthy, you are not healthy. I think that is why so many anorexics and bulimics can hide their disease so much easier. Who feels sorry for the skinny girl, right?

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