As I write this, I am feeling super excited. I JUST picked up a print proof of my book, called ‘Beautiful Freedom: a 4 week journey toward radical body-love and passionate living’.
I am also scared! The old thoughts are creeping in. Thoughts of “what if it’s not good enough?” “Did I fail?” “Is it perfect”? You see, I am a “recovering perfectionist”. One would not guess that just from knowing me for a short while. I would not describe myself as a super high achiever or a busy “go-getter”. I do not strive to be on top of my game at all times.
However, if there has been one constant through out my child hood, teenage years and through to adult hood, it’s this: Being afraid that I do not measure up to others standards. It’s what ultimately led to my eating disorder in college.
This thinking has kept me stuck on more than one occasion. What do I mean by “stuck?” Being too shy to reach out and make friends, being too afraid to try new things (I still can’t roller skate), and most recently in my health coaching business, constantly having to remind myself to step out of my comfort zone, take a deep breath and do it anyway because I know that people need my support. I won’t lie: as amazing as it is to write my own book, it was very tempting to not really share it with anyone. I thought to myself, I’ll just share it privately with those who are interested in my new, online group program. I don’t even have it on Amazon (yet). I also worry about silly things, such as if the book cover is good enough (there isn’t much we can do though when we don’t have a lot of money! thankfully my husband is really good at designing things on the computer!) .
I am happy to say that I got over this silly fear and am SHARING my excitement (and yes, I am proud of myself) over my NEW WORKBOOK!
Staying stuck in perfectionism can be comfortable… for awhile… but then things just get boring. When I look at my life in 10 years, do I want to say that I played it easy, all for the sake of not worrying about what others think? Or do I want to say that I KICKED ASS with putting myself out there in a BIG way (even if I may have made some mistakes along the way) ?
Which do YOU choose?Kellie www.nourishedandnew.com