As Mother’s Day approaches, I was inspired to write this post, dedicated to all the superhero moms out there. I know that pregnancy can change our bodies, but please remind yourself that we are all beautiful no matter what. 🙂
I also want to send out special love to those who have tried to have kids and can’t… I have suffered through miscarriages and I understand the grief. Big Hugs to you all. xoxo
Dear Body Of Mine,
I would like to take a moment to thank you. I know in the past, I hated you. You were my enemy. Almost every minute was filled with horrible thoughts such as “You are so ugly.” and “You are so fat.” Not once did I take the time to appreciate the little things such as the sparkle in your blue eyes, your luscious lips, or your toned arms.
No, instead I focused on the thighs that touch, the breasts that are too small, the butt that is too big and the stomach… oh man…. I could write a book on how much I despised the stomach.
I first noticed the size of the stomach when I was ten years old. Why did it stick out instead of lay flat? Compared to the size of my small arms and legs, my stomach looked funny to me. So when I was older I did awful things to you. I abused you. I did not feed you the nourishing food you needed. I swallowed tons and tons of chemicals in the form of laxatives that greatly messed up the digestive system. I forced my legs to move in the form of running, day in and day out. You needed to be punished for not looking perfect.
I compared you to other bodies. Why didn’t you look like the mom in the exercise class who appeared to have never had a baby? Why didn’t I have voluptuous breasts and flat abs?
I wanted to cut the stomach open. I wanted to erase the stretch marks and flatten out the loose skin. I thought you needed to be fixed. I was a victim and you, my body, were to blame. Over time, I felt more and more angry at you. That anger translated into yelling at my husband. I also felt shame. I was so embarrassed to show you to him.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for hating you, calling you names, hiding you, punishing you, and for almost “fixing” you with a knife.
I am sorry that I took you for granted. I have a body– I HAVE a body that moves! I have arms that help me hug the soft skin of my family. Feet that help me to play hide and seek. Legs that help me to get into downward dog for yoga. Hands that help me to type and express my feelings in writing. Taste buds that help me to enjoy chocolate. Ears that hear the precious words, “I love you, mommy.”
And…. yes, I am grateful for my stomach. While I am sad for losing babies, you endured 4 miscarriages and 4 D and C’s. You also suffered through two C-sections. Not to mention , you gave me two BIG, healthy babies.
I am finally at a point where I can say “Thank you” for the loose skin and stretch marks. They are my badge of honor. They remind me how blessed I am to have children.
As I take a deep breath, I am asking for your forgiveness. I love you.
p.s.– Check out my New Workbook! It’s called Beautiful Freedom: a 4 week journey toward radical body-love and passionate living. Click HERE to see it on Amazon.